LISTENING IS NOT ENOUGH

Tom Lynch had just been turned down by a prospect after he had proposed a solution to what he assumed was her problem. So he called me.

He learned that he needed to stop selling and first engage her so that she feels he genuinely understands her...her issues, the importance of them, etc.

He needs to turn off the "expert" discussions, totally. Create dialogue that helps the prospect reveal issues they are struggling with.

PATIENCE!!  Stop talking

Ask informed questions:

"How does family dynamics impact the success of your business?" Use silence to encourage the other person to talk. Reflect on what they have said..."so what I am hearing you say is..."

This causes one to feel understood! This builds trust!

Want help in breaking the habit of being the expert? Feel free to call me [pro bono].

 

203.454.3502

FRANK WILL COST ME BIG BUCKS

Carl, President of a mid-market service business asked me to deal with his new Managing Director of business development, Frank.

The Facts

ü  Carl:  "Frank is going to cost me big bucks in the future.  He lets deadlines drive his work priorities...and one day he will miss one."

ü  Frank arrives 20 minutes late to our initial meeting

ü  No interaction between Carl and Frank as to why he is late

ü  I ask Frank "What is going on?"  Frank: "I was out supervising our staff in the field"

ü  Meeting with Carl: "Does not sound like you have Frank in his business development roll. What is up?

ü  "I hired him because he owned a business like mine that had subsequently failed".

 

Carl's real issues

¨  He is gambling that Frank has the ability to develop new clients

¨  Frank does not really like business development

¨  Carl fears being too direct with Frank who is an old friend

After three meetings Frank more clearly saw this was not the place to be...and resigned!

PLEASE DO NOT REFER ME

In the process of advocating for top executives and acting as their confidant, the people below are not viable for my practice:

1.    People who do not think they have a leadership problem [even though their staff feels differently].  These people tend to defend their status quo

 

2.    Those pursuing business growth with no plan or strategy.  Helping them might have a negative effect on their company.

The only exception is executives who are well defended in the ways above but deep down know they need help!

SORRY...I AM TOO BUSY TO HELP YOU

The subject line is a fact that keeps growing...more interruptions, loss of focus, less patience to think things through.

 

Busy Bob Jordan, an executive client in a fast growing investment firm told me he is overwhelmed with work. He says "All of my staff need to become more productive and knowledgeable. I am getting exhausted."

 

I ask where he might start to resolve this heavy workload.  He says: "Delegate more"!

 

No, Bob!  Think this through.

 

You are the cause of this problem.

 

Nice guy Bob responds [reacts] to his staff's daily requests for help when they could be challenged to getting that help themselves. Enable/motivate your people to do that.

 

But why are his people so dependent on him?  He enables them to be dependent in his role of their Chief Problem Solver.

 

The significance of this stress?   Deteriorating focus on what is important.

 

Stress that is internalized or outwardly visible is the most frequent characteristic causing my clients to reach out for help.

 

YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOUR STAFF ABOUT PERFORMANCE

From my own experience consulting senior executives, I have found that leaders need to build better trust so that their staff can feel safe enough to tell the truth about your expectations...those that you think are not being met.

Here is a sample of what your people are thinking but not talking to you about:

¨ They don't know how to do it…but think they do

 

¨ They don't know why they should do it

¨ They think something else is more important

¨ They don't really know what they are supposed to do

 ¨ They think your way will not work as well

¨ They think their way is better

Next step?  stop talking and really LISTEN to your people!

CEO CONFIDENCE

As I engage senior executives, I track trends so I can become better alert to why people act the way they do.

After my past 37 conversations with Presidents and CEO's, I have found 82% who reveal a lack of confidence in some aspects of doing their job.

You might not see this because executives are well defended around those weaknesses or blind spots. So how do you engage executives in your organization [or clients] who have a good chance of lacking confidence?

My first response is strengthening trust. What is yours?

"I DO NOT THINK I GOT THROUGH..."

"I do not feel I am getting through to my manager." A frequent statement I hear from client's staff and employees.

So how to you get your voice heard? A few suggestions...

"Hey boss, I would respect your insights on how we can better communicate around ideas I have. Willing to set an appointment to discuss?" 

"I could be misreading you: when I offer my ideas and I don't sense you support them, perhaps your expectation is just to move forward and you have no concerns."

"What I really need is your validation that my ideas are viable and your are willing to support them...or even have suggestions how I could best put them into action."

Note to self:

Am I seeking validation because I need my bosses approval of myself?  Well, self validation is the best way to become more motivated to do what you think is right!