PRIDE REPRISE

Here it is only June 30, 2009 and I am back writing again about pride, this time because of Bernie Madoff.

From the New York Times: "...Mr. Madoff had apologized for the harm he inflicted on the clients who had trusted him, his employees and his family. He blamed his pride, which would not allow him to admit his failures as a money manager."

As leaders we all have to maintain our reputation that got us to where we are. But the paradox of being humble and human enough to admit mistakes or not being at the level we want to be (self criticism is powerful stuff) raises the positive value of how others see us...not the opposite.

So I ask my leader friends, what have you been humble about lately? Or, what mistakes have you admitted and asked help from peers or even your staff? What were the reactions from others?

I'll start.

Not long ago I provided feedback to a CEO that was a result of personal interviews of his staff. I provided literal quotes that represented the overall group's sense of what it is like working for this person. The mistake? Moving too fast and not taking one key issue at a time which caused unproductive defensiveness. I will be humble about this during our next meeting even though I risk being "disengaged".

You see, I will fight hard to not let my pride poke its ugly head. That pride would eliminate the trust I need to rebuild to have a meaningful relationship.

"B" PLAYERS DILEMMA

Just had lunch with Brad Miller, Chairman of Perimeter Internetworking http://www.perimeterusa.com/ and discussed the dilemma of what to do with "B" players who one inherits through acquisition or the job outgrows them.

One challenge is the expectation of an annual increase when one does not increase their output; thus effectively reducing company margin.

But we do need steady people who are OK in the role they play and do not expect significant changes; the example offered by Brad is the accounts payable clerk.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt that in the right job they can be challenged to give more, increase their value through change in role, skill development and inspiring leadership. Is this easy? NO.

But I can not agree to just accept "B" players as they are. We just need to work harder at learning how to better fit people and engage them to become "A" players as a minimal expectation for employment.

IS PRIDE A GOOD THING?

• I told a friend this weekend that “I help executives deal with pride.”
  
  At first he thought I was dealing with people who did not take pride in their organization or their people who did not take pride in their work.
  
  Wrong!
  
  I was referring to those executives whose ego gets in the way of hearing their people express what they think is important for the success of their organization. Worse are those who listen but their pride distorts their understanding…or their pride reverts to anger or frustration.
  
  This is not to diminish the genuine pride an executive should have in building a strong enterprise that continues to grow in this recession of 2009. It is when pride gets in the way that we need to address the implications.
  
  For example:
  
• Employees not having their ideas acted on because leadership needing to be the generator of new approaches to the business.
• Executives who are "too busy" because they are reluctant to delegate decision-making with trust
• Organizations that have low trust of executives because their engagment with the organization is primarily "telling" but less genuine listening
• Employees who really do not understand what is expected of them.
  
  Managers and employees ask, “If we do not know where we are going, how can we be expected to perform in ways to get us there?”
  
  This is truly a challenge I encounter in the beginning of every coaching and consulting assignment: where are we going and how will we know when we arrive? Pride (too much of it) causes lack of clear communication; “Only I know what is happening”.
  
  How does a coach help the issue of pride? With lots of praise and admiration balanced with small does of reality (feedback). One beginning approach is the question, “What is it like working for (executive)?”
  
  It is amazing how this begins to encourage an individual to verbalize some of the “truths” that have been previously ignored.
  
  Example: after a 1.5 hour meeting where the CEO passionately talked 98% of the time, I asked what he thought it was like sitting as a staff member. At first he talked about his entertaining passion and the exciting news he was announcing; but the comments changed when I asked him why, when he asked a question, no one answered!
  
  “Maybe I should involve my staff better!” This does not diminish pride…it just puts it into better balance with other people’s needs as contributing employees.

THE MOST IMPORTANT LEADERSHIP SKILL

There really is only one most important leadership skill. Listening.

It is that ability that measurably differentiates great leaders and mangers from the not so great. Great listening inspires people to action, influences people more effectively, prevents conflict and is the one factor that is most powerful in dealing with change.

Maybe you caught the April 2009 New York Times interview of James J. Schiro, C.E.O. of Zurich Financial Services where he was asked: What is the most important leadership lesson you’ve learned?

A. It’s the ability to listen, and to make people understand that you are listening to them. Make them feel that they are making a contribution, and then you make a decision. I don’t think any one individual is so brilliant that they know all of the answers. So you’ve got to have a sense of inclusiveness.

My experience?

No matter the title or role of a leader, my clients typically do an exceptional job hearing and frequently listen to the point of listening; i.e. taking the time to understand others. The critical leadership skill; however, is having people feel they are understood!

"COACHING" IS A BAD WORD

Most of you who are or have been my clients rarely call me a coach but usually refer to me as a consultant.

I have figured out why that is; a “coach” could be misinterpreted to mean “As your leader, I have a significant enough challenge to have to engage this coach-guy. Almost like admitting one is seeing a therapist. Ouch!

But the bigger problem for me is how to inform people what I do, rather HOW do I help leaders achieve key goals they struggle with? So what is the word for the skills of being a consultant, coach, advisor, trainer, mentor…using all in a typical day with a client?

My newly found colleague, Sue Melone of BoldTrek, Inc. says she just tries not to use the wordcoach.

I guess I am back to talking only to the challenges I help resolve: getting greater focus on the most critical business imperatives, getting others to aligned to those imperatives and increasing the effectiveness of engaging with one’s organization that people work with an owner mindset.

ACCOUNTABILITY: Your Job or Mine?

The most frequently heard dilemma I hear from managers in my NYU Leadership class is creating accountability of their direct reports. My coaching and consulting clients agree and describe the challenge around getting others to step up their performance...to think creatively, lead change with greater initiative and deal proactively with people issues rather than ignore them.

Yesterday a CEO called me for help with his VP Marketing, describing disorganization and weak time management that could risk millions in lost business. In over one year nothing has changed. So, where is the ownership of this problem...with him or his VP?

The question I ask is: "How can we create an owner mindset with this person?"

My experience with the past 10 clients I have worked with this year shows that leaders & managers do more to NOT create "ownership" but cause the opposite: a dependency bordering on a "permission" relationship.

Second is the observation that leaders are not clear enough communicating their expectations, not only the measuable results but the actions most critical to achieving those results.

The test: ask any of your people what they think you expect of them, this week, month or quarter. Their response will provide the kind of feedback that will guide you to being more clear, more frequently and greater commitments on both sides...witch will begin to shift the accountabity to where it belongs.

Why Managers Need to Coach

I had a surprise last week when I was asked to be an instructor at NYU Graduate School of Leadership & Human Capital Management…perhaps more surprised when I learned they wanted me to teach one of six courses on Coaching.

The class comprised of a group of Gen X/Y and Millenials. Why are they interested in learning coaching skills? Because their experience in being managed in traditional ways has taught them that as managers themselves they need new ways to motivate, inspire and support their people to be satisfied and productive contributors.

But a series of graduate level courses on coaching? Blew me away that what I have been teaching and preaching for over 30 years has come to this. Now that I think about it, When I was working on my MBA we were taught “coaching” but it was then termed Theory “X” and Theory “Y”.

Not much, then, has really changed. A predominate number of mangers get appointed because of their technical expertise and manage others based on how they were (are) managed. Just like becoming a parent!

So I am delighted to have the opportunity to really help managers understand new ways to be instrumental in causing greater success in others.