Leadership...through the eyes of a coach...Alan Booth

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

MANIPULATIVE CLIENT

What would you do with Bob?


Bob, a person I have casually engaged as we would usually end up standing next to each other at a local bar, asked me one afternoon, "What do you do to afford living here?"

"I am an Executive Coach"

"And yourself, Bob?

He answered in paragraphs. Whew!

After another 15 minutes hearing him talk,  I asked him about our conversation over the past 5 minutes, "were you 80% of our conversation or near 20%? He smiled.

"Since trust is so important when conversation is about money [he is a CFP], how important is listening?

He got the point and then said we should meet for breakfast so he could know me better.

I took that as a clue he might want to engage me.

Over Coffee

We talked about the importance of building trust in both of our professions and agreeing that listening is one prime way to do that.  As my friends frequently here me say about any conversation, "It is always about the other person.  And they will give you a clue when to speak."

Then the offer, "If you really feel that listening is most important, I would enjoy helping you as a coach."

He hesitated.

"Here is the deal: you will coach me as long as I can pitch you for my financial products."

My response, "These are two different conversations and we need to keep them separate."  I coached him for three meetings in February and steered him away from talking finance.

I submitted his February invoice.

Post Invoice

His email: "I was taken aback yesterday upon receiving your invoice.  I was under the impression we were meeting to see how we might mutually benefit one another and learn more about each other’s businesses." 

This after 3 months of talking?

I really got snookered!

So, what would you do now?

Alan







Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Facts vs. Emotions...a Big Difference when Relating to People

Emotions vs. Facts Exciting...I actually disciplined myself to spend the day reading from books that have influence me in the past. No computer on, no looking for emails. I am at How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie reminds us that when dealing with people, we are dealing with emotions, yours and theirs! But what is the frequency that people are engaging you around logic. Carnegie: "We are not creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity." SPEAKING ILL OF PEOPLE I catch myself talking to friends about people who hit my hot buttons. This is criticism. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain -- and most fools do" The result: people will think less of you and might even marginalize you. AS A COACH This is particularly a challenge for executive coaches. Yet, coaching is all about getting their clients to be judgmental about themselves. Tricky business. But when we are self-assessing, we will own possible solutions and be more motivated to act on them! That is what true coaching does. Call me to continue this conversation: 203.216.6232

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