Leadership through Eyes of a Coach...Alan Booth

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

LACK OF CONFIDENCE WHEN BOSS = PARENT


I am convinced that American businesses are structured by the family dynamics we experienced earlier in life, then again as we became parents. So "bosses" act as parents relating to their staff and employees as their children seeking approval.

This family model in the corporate world has been reinforced by my consulting to multi-generational family businesses where the parents struggle to have confidence in the next generation to succeed them.

That becomes the standard followed by a sense of reduced confidence in those wishing to succeed you.

The solution?

Take off the parent hat and the subservient child hat and speak with each other as being on the same team.

Case in point from those conversations:

n  "Now that we are focused on my 30 year old son still being an adolescent, I can see that I enable that to happen by still paying his rent and buying him cars."

n  Me: "Mary, your son is getting mixed messages from you.  When are you going to help him be successful?"  Mary immediately leaves the meeting, saying: "I am leaving to see my attorney to establish the trust we have talked about.  Bye."

n  "If I put my daughter in charge, that will be the 4th generation of a family member taking over...but I simply do not believe she is capable.  In fact she has the same issues I struggled with when taking over the business."

As a manager, your lack of confidence in others may simply be the parent in you always striving to be the best you can...but at the expense of others wanting to live up to their full potential!

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