HOW WOULD YOU DEAL WITH TOM?

As I walked past my executive client' office, Tom, he stood up abruptly and motioned me into his office.  Seems that Susan, his star staff manager had put pressure on one of her employees who then came in to talk with Tom.

"Alan, would you mind accompanying me to talk with Susan?"

So I did. As soon as Tom laid on table the situation, Susan started a lengthy speech about why she was justified in handling her employee the way she did...but missed the point Tom has made about motivating the employee vs. criticizing them.

Susan got louder and louder, interrupting Tom and holding on to her position for 10 minutes. Tom gave up and decided to approach Susan at a later date.

The good news: an executive faces conflict head on.

The bad news: my last 200 clients all avoid conflict that is disruptive to the organization [except 4].

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN COACHING TOM AFTER HE WALKED OUT OF SUSAN'S OFFICE?

BOARD RELATIONSHIPS

I just came out of a meeting with a CEO who resigned after two years, having made significant inroads in lowering debt, growing revenue and building a strategy for even greater growth in 2014.

He outlined to me in great depth how he struggled with getting the board to advocate for him, to listen to his ideas and support his initiatives.

I have worked with Bob for three years, observing his high energy and probably too much passion for his ideas. But I also heard: "It is the Board's fault..."

He was not focused in getting to know his board members, what their strong suits and passions are, what their expectations are in their board role, etc.

What he needed was a mirror to identify how he is perceived...as all CEO's need. With this knowledge he could have found better ways to genuinely connect with board members and be understood.

We all can benefit from being more aware of how we are perceived.

 

" Read" others on how they are reacting to your suggestions, ideas and challenges. Better yet, ask your management or board, how you can better play in the same sandbox.

It is important to your effectiveness and perhaps your career!

CONFLICT IS A GOOD THING

CONFLICT IS A GOOD THING

I am writing this because I have personally observed that the higher up an organization the greater avoidance of personal conflict. This is a real paradox.

What I have found is that the more managers look for conflict, the more they will understand their people...what motivated them, what frustrates them, etc.

As a kid, I was a conflict causer...making my father's life miserable. I learned as an adult that what I was doing us using conflict to get attention. And, wow, what attention I got!  So avoiding conflict make it worse!

The value of seeking out where conflict occurs include:

n  It gets people to talk what is on their mind [what managers need to better understand]

n  It opens the door to finding out why the conflict exists

n  Once discovered, conflict allows us to shift blaming to one of "ownership" of a situation

Why do we miss conflict or dissatisfaction?

1.    Because we don't pay attention to changes in facial expressions or posture, and

2.    We have been conditioned to avoid it.

A former CEO of GM approached conflict  this way, "I propose we postpone discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement". Go foster debate!

FEEDBACK YOU NEED TO HEAR

Why would a bright successful executive not pick up cues as to why he was disconnected from his staff?

When David Green introduced me to Ruppert, his new CEO, I suspected something was wrong. Ruppert asked me to interview his staff to get a sense of the difficulties he was encountering, saying it was all about THEM!

The result?

Every person reported a big disconnect with Ruppert because he had his own way of doing things but not interested in his staff's point of view.

So I conducted the "new manager assimilation" process where the leader tells his staff how he wants things to be done.  Separately, his staff comes to consensus on what they need from their leader to be successful...which is reported back to the leader to prepare a response.

Result: Ruppert had come from a much larger company that had a very well defined and different way of doing things. He knew no other way.

His staff told him essentially that he must learn to please never again refer to that previous company and how things are done there.

The lesson learned was to better engage your staff to genuinely "hear" what is on their mind.  That is leadership that works!

ARE YOU AWARE OF YOUR BLIND SPOT?

"I know this might be a bit sensitive: Your team has observed a blind spot that is impacting the effectiveness of your leadership and causing lack of trust with your team.

I need to say this to many of my executive clients; people who are very confident but typically ignore feedback or do not seek it out.

 

Case in Point

Carol and Melissa are co-owners of a very successful and growing business. Melissa wants more money out the partnership being scared about her retirement savings.

Melissa is relentless and angry in finding ways to make more money at the firm.  No one wants to work for her. She angrily pushes to either fire their sales executive or reduce his compensation. With anger she is weak in negotiating!

As the friction increased I was brought in to cause "sanity" in this partnership by working with Melissa. We had a series of partner meetings so I could observe the dynamic.

But the solution was Carol's blind spot: never reacting or negotiating with Melissa enabled greater friction, volume and angry tones.  When she realized she was enabling Melissa's behavior this way, she found her voice and caused a much better relationship to occur and was successful in convincing Melissa of her only two options: either [1] be more collaborative or [2] have her partnership bought out.

Lesson: in dealing with conflict, first look at yourself as an enabler!

The 80/20 RULE IMPACTS YOUR BUSINESS

My wife taught me that women want to be heard and understood by men, not to have their problems necessarily fixed.

With management teams I coach, I see this as the 80/20 rule: Listening 80% of most conversations and talking only 20%. This has direct implications on running a business.

Case in Point

Jim Lynch, a CEO client was observed stopping his lengthy conversation when the other party started to nod their head.  He thought that meant there was agreement for his request. But he was stressed out  because many on his staff "agreed" to do important things and did not follow up.

So I had the other person meet with Jim and I so I could use the "nod" to expose both of them to this misunderstanding.  It happened - I interrupted Jim to call attention to the nod - and he shot back: "Hold a minute, Alan, I am not done talking here."

He was able to reverse the ratio to about 30% talking and 70% Listening...in about two weeks!

With clients and customers, listening so they feel understood, builds trust and meaningful relationships. After that, we gain the power to influence, suggest better ways to do things relevant to their individual needs, etc.

This ratio has implications for selling your product or services to how well your board can appropriately give advice.

TWO QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR 2013 BONUS

Is it clear to you how your 2013 bonus will be calculated or, how clear have you been with your staff on your method of calculation?

Is it clear what you have to do [ or your staff] to receive maximum bonus?

Improving Bonus Impact

1.    Have measurable expectations and goals tied to the bonus calculations

2.    Ask your people to drive the establishments of goals and expectations to create greater ownership and accountability

3.    Monthly, have your people review with you their progress in achieving established goals and expectations.  Ask what the barriers are to making further progress. Dialogue solutions.

There should be no surprises at bonus time as to how the award was determined!