THE NEED TO BE RIGHT

The NEED TO BE RIGHT is not about being correct.  It is about the interaction that causes people to not be open about problems or not to step up with ideas on how to solve.

Now that I think about it, my first observation about people's need to be right is with my father. "The reason you have to do XXX is because I said so." 

In business it is the boss who will listen to  people's challenges and their ideas on how to resolve but in the end makes the decision what to do, inferring "I know best".  The paradox is:  on one hand the boss asking for input from her staff, demanding greater initiative, productivity and problem solving - without realizing that the NEED TO BE RIGHT syndrome inhibits all of these from happening.

Working for such a person causes one to feel marginalized, not having a voice - to be disregarded for thoughtful discussion of ideas.

In my coaching practice, I have found it helpful to focus one on this paradox by looking at both sides of the coin and then uncovering why it is so important to the right.  Here are some of the motivators my clients have told me:

• Not having confidence in others ability
• I need to be in control
• Not risking looking like I don't have the answers
• It is my job to make the big decisions
• I am better qualified than my staff

If you are a NEED TO BE RIGHT person, consider why people are not stepping up with compelling ideas to solve problems or meeting your expectations.  Then take the risk of empowering your people to execute their ideas with your support. You just may be surprised that the results are better than you expected!

If you work for a NEED TO BE RIGHT person, don't give up.  Show respect for that person for their ideas and avoid causing their defensiveness. At the same time, make the case why your idea or approach might be better for all concerned.  Promote "compromise" so both of you feel the "win".