Why Not the Truth Be Told?

This is the truth...it happened last week.

A departmental meeting I was facilitating involved the different styles people use in communicating with others. "How do you recognize one's style with the four choices described?" I asked. "Let's work together with a simple technique, attempting to profile our leader's style...remembering this is based only on what we observe...no judgments."

So I continued by asking the group of 20 people various questions such as what words, eye contact and use of hands denote where on the assertiveness scale the leader usually is.

SILENCE

Mary speaks up, "The silence you hear is because our boss is in the room...duh!"

After the meeting I approach Mr. Leader and asked what it felt like having his people be uncomfortable talking about what they are observing about him…even after the heartfelt permission he expressed.

“What I really worry about is [1] the really important ideas and challenges they restrain from talking to me about and [2] what I do that causes my people to hold back on the truth when invited to do so.”

“I believe I am seen as an open person who does not criticize others or use a lot of negative consequences. Maybe I need to ask better questions, listen better and watch for the cues that tell me there is more that needs to be said.”

Finally I ask Mr. Leader, “is your relationship with your manager trusting enough that you can tell him the level of truth he is asking or even demanding from you?”

Stay tuned for Chapter 2. The story line on truth suddenly changes!